Barnabas Davis Sold Heroin Dubbed as ‘Ebola’

NJ man sold ebola heroin

Courtesy of Dreamstime

What the What? I love my people, honestly. History (and ESPN) have proven that we are some of the most creative beings in the world; and some of us will capitalize on anything good, bad, or ugly.

Would you believe that in a time when people everywhere are already hyperventilating over the possibility of an Ebola pandemic, Barnabas Davis—-an enterprising Street Pharmaceutacalist in Toms River, NJ decided to upgrade the name of his heroin to something more fashion-forward, like…Ebola?! Well, it kinda does make sense, considering that re-branding is an effective marketing strategy.

Read on to experience a likely conversation between Barnabas, and a comparison shopper that we’ll call “Peanut.”

Barnabas: “Yo, I got that Ebola, namean?”

Peanut: “Oh, word?!”

Barnabas: “Yeah, it blew in last nite. This shit is the truth.”

Peanut: “Um, it aint got the real Ebola in it, do it? No disrespect, but that shit killing people.”

Barnabas: “Hell naw, Ebola Virus is on some gubment, created in a lab type-shit. My shit is legit. I’m tryna get choo high like Marion Barry (God Rest His Soul).”

Peanut: “Oh word?! Well, i was hoping to get high like that mayor in Canada..that fat white dude.”

Barnabas: “I got choo!”

Peanut: “Well then, let me get some!”

See, that’s a great example of effective marketing. Barnabas translated his existing, run of the mill product into one of highly perceived value. Goodness, does anybody else realize that this guy is in the wrong business? I see a Business Degree, with a Marketing specialization in his future; after his arraignment, of course. 😉

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Author: julu

You can call me JULU. I’m a single working mother of two. I’ve been referred to as “an old soul” and have a knack for reading people. I’m friendly by nature and cool with just as many women as men. I’m that person who always gets the quiet people to talk. When giving advice, expect my answers to contain a heap load of wisdom gained from my vast personal experiences, a considerable amount of women’s intuition, and a dash of humor. I will not excuse behavior for ANYONE. Wrong is wrong, and if you do wrong then ask my opinion, expect the hard truth about it. I’m a great communicator, and enjoy talking and sharing thoughts with others. I’m also an artist, so view life creatively. I believe there are many different ways to handle the many different situations we encounter in life. Expect some humor where appropriate. I’m a trip, and will clown you as I see fit. Where guys are concerned, they typically think of me in one of two ways. I’m either like a sister, or they tend to “forget I’m a girl” because I’m so frickin’ laid back and “don’t get all emotional” like women tend to. Life is what it is, so no need in me stressing over stuff I can’t control. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments. I just usually take the common sense approach to solving problems instead of letting my heart do the talking; and then if that doesn’t work, I ask Drake. ☺ I have an Associates Degree in Business, and an Honorary Degree in “Dealing with Life’s BS.”

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