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By julu on Mar 25, 2012 | In Editorial | 5 feedbacks »
Dear Wifey... A Message From the Other Woman
Here I sit, thinking about IT. My memory has managed to preserve every instance of us, of our bodies clinging together. I can still taste his tongue, his well chiseled chest, and sweat. That’s my man, but he’s her husband. DAMM. Did I just say that? Sounds different when I use my outside voice. And now comes the guilt, shame and conviction. He walked right out of my bed and into her heart. And worse, she doesn’t even know it. I think she likes me, although I think her womanly intuition tells her there’s something not quite right about me. Not right about me? Who the hell AM I these days?
Follow up:
I’m a mother, a girlfriend, a sister, best friend, and recently I added whore to my repertoire. A cheat. Nothing left for me to do but start lying and stealing. DAMM, I said that wit my inside voice and I still heard it loud and clear. I’ve become what I once despised, but I’m in love. I love me, I swear I do. My smile, figure, personality, sense of humor, and mostly my heart. So why did I list it last? Because right now it’s doing something I barely recognize by residing with someone that can never come home to me. I suppose that means as long as my heart keeps spending the night with another man and his woman, I’ll never be whole. He’s got my heart and my love. All I’ve got is my love for his love. And more than a year later, he still hasn’t uttered those words to me. He’s addictive, but that shouldn’t excuse it. It still feels right every time, and I swear every time is the last time. Not that it matters much, cause it is what it is, right?He acts just like this sh!t doesn’t bother him. Are men really that cold and callous? And its that part that reminds me I don’t need the son of a b!tch. Can’t sleep at night w/out wondering WTF he been doing, and wondering if he’s doing it to her like he just did it to me. And that sh!t upsets me. All because I can’t have it. But I thought I just said I didn’t need it! But the sh!t is good! No, it really is good. I mean collard green and cookie dough good. It’s……wrong. And i dammit know it.
Told him I hated him the last time we were together. He chuckled and said, “I hate me too.” Wonder if she hates him? Just who the fck is really hating?
Yet still, I HATE, I LUV…
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