Is My Man Still Seeing His Ex?

woman thinks her man is cheating with his ex

© Aniram |

Dear SisterChatter,

I’ve been dating this guy for two years but it has been extremely difficult because of his crazy baby mama. The baby’s almost two, which means I’ve been dealing with this since his baby mama was pregnant. FYI, they broke up before knowing she was pregnant. We started out as just friends and it slowly but surely turned into more. I’ve been on a roller coaster for the duration of the relationship. Baby mama will not let go. I won’t blame it all on her though, he has been sending her mixed signals. Her psychotic acts are becoming more severe and happening more frequently. Most recently, she sent him a string of 26 text messages about how she still wants him and still wants a family with him. Then she got upset and would not let him see the baby for two weeks because he didn’t respond to her messages. Then she decided it was my fault he didn’t respond, and called me while I was at work calling me all kinds of names and delivering all kinds of threats.

I believe he really loves me and I believe we can have a future if he can somehow get her under control. When she does crazy stuff he encourages me to ignore it because “that’s just how she is.” He seems to be oblivious to how it makes me feel when he doesn’t defend me. Who wants to deal with that crazy mess? And I keep telling him there’s only so much more ignoring I’m going to do. Does he not care how his clingy baby mama affects me? Does he not care about my feelings? Is my ex still seeing his ex? Can he really not control her? Or should I just leave it alone and swim after another fish in the sea? Please Help!

Baby Mama Hatin’ Morgan
Orlando, FL

Julu Says…Morgan, women just don’t cut the fool for no reason. Outside of the BM still having feelings for your man, he could very well be leading her on. There’s nothing worse than a scorned woman – except maybe a woman who has a reason to believe there’s still a chance to have the family she always dreamed of! And with the baby being 2, its mighty strange that she’s still tripping, and you’ve been in the picture for 2yrs. Odds are, your man either sniffed, or hit it at some point during yall’s relationship. And its not at all unheard of for a man to minimize his current relationship to keep an ex, or BM in line. The obvious reason for that is because the ex hasn’t moved on. Instead of perpetuating it, your man should be discouraging the behavior by letting his ex know you’re here to stay. The more he downplays you, the more she’ll test her boundaries. Oh, and remember that the only person you can control is YOU. So when dealing with his ex, your man needs to be reminded of how his actions are perceived by her, and act accordingly.

Drake Says…Well it seems like you have a case of the BM’s. Listen up Florida,
 its like this. First off, I would make sure that your man is not going 
back and poppin his baby mama off. If he is, she is getting mixed
 signals, and who knows what he’s telling her. Second, he needs to be a 
man and handle the situation as if he had a pair. If you want the type of 
man that can’t and won’t defend you in front of his BM, THEN YOU MAY NEED TO LET HIM GO. Ask yourself this question, are you happier with him, or without the drama. When you get that answer you will know what to do.

Fever Says…What’s going to happen if he finally does let her go? Are you prepared to become a weekend parent along with him cause guess what, you gone be changing them diapers, finding them pacifiers, rocking that baby to sleep, strolling and everything else that comes along with a man having an infant. You have to ask yourself, are you ready for that??? Besides, why are you worried about the decision he’s going to make. Make your own damn decision! You’ve been dating this man for two years and you knew about the baby after you got w/him so who’s crazier, him or you. There is no way on this Earth that I would start dating a man that has a child on the way. Those are feelings to which neither is prepared. Evidently, he doesn’t respect you so why should she. I’m sorry but I’m so tired of seeing women go through this same scenario over and over. If a man doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated, leave his azz w/them damn diapers, strollers, pacifiers, baby crying cause they want their mommy, girl please. There’s love then there’s self love!!! Plain and simple.

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