Rachel Dolezal Steps Down
SPOCAINE, Wash. (NP) — NAACP President Rachel Dolezal decided to step down in the midst of what will likely go down in history, as one of the most bizarre scandals to ever grace the pages of the internet. Her decision to step down was met with little resistance.
Her View Of The World
“I’m as black as you can get–even without the melanin. I may have good hair, but I’ve got an even greater mind and spirit. That’s what counts.” In a Today Show interview with Matt Lauer, Rachel Dolezal revealed that she has been identifying as black ever since she was 5 years old. “I was drawing self-portraits with the brown crayon instead of the peach crayon, and the curly black hair,” she said. On a lighter note, Dolezal insists that she got 18 out of 19 questions right in the Huggy LowDown #AskRachel Quiz, which was created to prove or disprove one’s blackness. “I got the question wrong about the chitterlings,” she happily chimed. “Once when I was little, my mom planned to cook us some chitterlings one Thanksgiving, but they didn’t sell them in our area. I was disappointed.”
Dolezal has a rich history of working in and around the African-American communities, and the culture. She attended Howard University as a graduate student, in a Master of Fine Arts program. Her ex-husband Kevin Moore was black; and she was raised alongside adopted African-American siblings.
Minor Bumps In The Road
“Who hasn’t done something that another person would look at as questionable,” she pondered. “Personally, I think I should be applauded. This is America, the land of the Free, the home of the Brave. I’m a woman in 2015 born of another race, who actually wants to be black. How many sane people in this country would put themselves in a position where they could possibly be harassed, or face police brutality? I may have exaggerated my melanin count, but I fail to see a major problem. Hell, Blacks passed as whites for years. So I can’t pass? And help some ninjas at the same time? Peeps need to cut me some slack.”
No Turning Back
When asked why she chose to step down as President of the Spocaine NAACP chapter, Rachel Dolezal stated “I did it for the shawty’s. The children are our future. My goal has only been to plant deep, indigenous roots within the organization, and I am saddened that the affirmative legacy I have built thus far, could be overshadowed by a little white lie.”
When asked if she was disappointed that her own brothers would speak out against her, she replied “No. The rainstorm and the river are my brothers..the heron and the otter are my friends. We will love each other ’til the end. Our bond cannot be broken–whether we are white or copper skinned. My family is very important to me.”
She ended the interview with these profound last words:
“You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you.”
“And if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew.”